Tractor pulls

At times parenting feels just like being in a tractor pull without the tractor. Sigh, have you ever tried to get a kid to do something they were bound and determined to do? My oldest can stubbornly refuse for hours to do something. At times I wonder how she can be so stubborn and then i realize that she is my daughter.



Under the Mercy,
Matthew S

Something about this is just wrong

but just in case you were wondering. . . . .

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Entry for Photo March Wichita Flickr Contest

FlickrMarch
Originally uploaded by kc0lex (Matthew)

You will need to click on it to get a good look at the picture but I thought it was an interesting way of showing "Vantage Point" that is this month's challenge.

Ben Stein is Expelled

This is a new Ben Stein movie coming out....takes on Darwinism and the atheists out and about.

Closing time. . .

No, not for this blog, but just for the end of my day. It has been a long several weeks and many things have been racing through my mind at random. I am a father to 5 children. That is the thought that keeps coming back and forth into my mind. I have four beautiful daughters that I love dearly and get to see daily. I have one daughter (my wife and I's decision on gender) that was taken from us in an act of mercy. We don't know why we had the miscarriage but we do know the simple fact that we did.

It is not a mercy in the nice politically correct way of looking at things but more in the respect of Sheldon Vanauken's, "A Severe Mercy" or C.S. Lewis's "Shadowlands". The mercy is in the loss and the pain. My wife told me she was suprised that this miscarriage was something that affected me so much. She has told me that she thought it was something that women dealt with. However, I can't help but look on this miscarriage as the loss of my child that I swore to care for before her conception. Something that is part of my being as a man demands that I am a knight for my children, present and God-willing future. They are my charges, given to me from God.

This miscarriage has caused lots of different emotions and reactions to come into my heart and mind. Part of me is excited because I have a child that is a Saint in heaven. Another part of me struggles with feeling robbed. This is my child and I will never get to hold her, watch her first steps, teach her to ride a bike, give her away on her wedding day, watch her profess her vows in the convent, or any of the other things that are possible with my other four daughters.

However, I feel guilty for feeling robbed, this isn't about me, it is about my child. She is in a better place than I am. She is part of the Church triumphant and I am still on my sojourn. My children are a temporary gift for me to be a steward of during this short time here on earth. They are not something for me to control and possess. I am to raise, form and shape them to know, love and serve the Lord. They are not tools for my happiness but an extension of who I am in essence that will, God willing, lead to my ultimate fulfillment as a being.

My wife told me something she heard, I don't remember if it was from another blog or from a friend. It was a simple statement that is a good frame for all of us as parents. When dealing with your children and the seeming interruptions in your day remember, it isn't "Now I have to do _____" but instead it is "Now I get to _____". Total change of perspective on how I deal with my current children. My children being in my life is something that I can never take for granted. They are here as a gift for me. Not for me to own or possess but for my benefit, to make me into a better person.

I know that the raising of my oldest child is stretching me into a better person. I come from a household with just my brother and I. We both have our own personalities and my father does. My oldest daughter is not unlike me but she is also unique in her own special ways. She is requiring me to move out of how I was raised and my cookie-cutter mentality of how a child is to be raised and realize that it is more about connecting in a realtionship with our children.

If you think about it realtionship is the very basis and being of the parent-child relationship. Terms like father and daughter are realtional. You can't use those words without them automatically implying a relationship. That is the biggest thing that I have learned. I have five wonderful children to thank for that and a very beautiful wife as well. My heart is moved by all of them.

Under the Mercy,
Matthew S

Only the state is good enough

Basically, that is what California is saying here when they basically limit schooling to state certified professionals. It is really disturbing to me that the State of California thinks that it is to be normative for the state to determine what children learn. The parents of a child are the ones that have that right naturally. We have a term for states that take control of private thought and natural rights away from people, they are called facists. Well, either that or just people who think it takes "The Village" to raise your kids, instead of taking a whole community.

I am just glad that Governor Schwarzenegger understands that this is a huge violation of the natural order and is standing up and fighting the good fight. God bless checks and balances.

I have been thinking alot about schooling versus homeschooling. If you think about it when we send kids off to school we basically take our kids out of the every day reality of the world and create an artificial reality filled with people that aren't mature enough to function in the real world. This is a potential recipe for danger. I like the fact that my kids are part of the community and have more interaction with adults than students in an institutional school setting.

I also like the fact that someone else doesn't control what they learn and know.

Under the Mercy,
Matthew S

When will it be warm again

IMG_4863
Originally uploaded by kc0lex (Matthew)

I can't wait for it to be warm again outside. Now that we have gotten through our major training and no one is sick anymore maybe, just mybe I can start exercising regularly after a month off. I just hope it is warm enough for rock climbing, oh, and I need to plan a camping trip or two.

Under the Mercy,
Matthew S

Photography Challenge

I am on the photo sharing website Flickr for uploading my photos onto the internet. It has an element of Web 2.0 in groups with specialized interests. One of them that I participate in is the local Wichita group. This month's challenge involves the same subject for everyone, a statue in front of the local art museum, with the challenge being perspective. The thread with a variety of different pictures is found here. One of my enteries is here:

My daughters love cowboys

That's right, they are big fans of Roy Rogers, Dale Evans and Gene Autry. They love their boots, saddles and riding down happy trails. My father bought them 20 hours of old Roy Rogers shows on DVD for them to watch. They are able to watch them on the computer and they love the old fashion fight scenes. Today they found out that one of the episodes is in color, they were stoked.

Under the Mercy,
Matthew S

What are you eating?

IMG_5078
Originally uploaded by kc0lex (Matthew)

"A bw-rown-ie"

I love you little Lucia.

Under the Mercy,
Matthew S

P.S. special thanks to the wonderful person that made those brownies for us.